Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Welcome to the Family....

I have always had a lot of dreams that center around anxiety.  Someone very important to me is in peril and I just can seem to rescue them.  For some reason my brain likes to give those anxiety circuits a good old work out every few nights with some scenario or another.

In one recurring dream while I was doing my PhD I would be on the bus with six of my study rats in a dilapidated shoe box.  And they would be jumping out and people would be standing on them. I would be in a panic trying to find them and find something more secure to put them in. One of the most common subjects of these dreams now is my dog Avon. I will dream that he has been hit by a car and I can't get anyone to stop to take me to the vet, and my phone doesn't work, and on and on.

Last night I had a dream about my new dog Vera who likes to chew things. In the dream I came home to find she had chewed off her front leg and it was lying next to her on the carpet. Not that Vera ever chews herself, you understand, it was some kind of dream logic. In the dream I ran to my mother for help but she insisted on going to the supermarket for coffee instead because she needed it to add to the stew she was making.

I woke up to find the dogs happily snoring away, all of their legs intact. And somehow this dream gave me some kind of satisfaction.  Because for my unconscious mind to play these nasty tricks it has to pick up on what is important to me.

I know Vera basically adores me after only a few short months of coming into this household. She will come back when I call even when she really, really wants to eat the toast that is lying on the pavement (God knows how it got there). She will lie on the sofa and gaze at me with adoration as I work on the computer. Now at least I know that even on the deepest and most unconscious levels, I am holding up my end of the relationship.

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